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Triangle District of Virginia
Al-Anon Family Group

Who We Are, Our History and Perspective

The Al-Anon fellowship was formed in 1951; however, the help for families of alcoholics started with the first AA meetings in the 1930s.

Alcoholics Anonymous was founded by two men-Bill and Dr. Bob-who found sobriety through a Christian movement known as the Oxford Group. Bill and Dr. Bob did not embrace all aspects of the movement and eventually left the group. But they did embrace many of the spiritual principles that aided in their recovery. These principles were to become the basis of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics anonymous and Al-Anon.

During the early years, the wives of AA members would go to the meetings to prepare and serve refreshments. They would gather in the kitchen and discuss their common problem and their experiences.

As Lois, the wife of Bill, so insightfully stated in her memoirs...

four of five people are affected by one alcoholic-member of the whole family, close friends, employers and employees, and others . . .

Lois thought that all she needed to be happy was Bill finding sobriety. But even after Bill found sobriety and was carrying his message to others, Lois was still unhappy. She recalled in her memoirs Bill always being away helping others, and when he was home, he was bringing in drunks who wanted help.

Lois found herself filled with self-pity and resentment. After throwing her shoe during an argument with Bill, Lois realized that her own life was out of control, even with Bills sobriety.

She and other wives began to use the twelve steps of AA in their own lives. However, those who were trying to apply the steps on their own only found limited progress. Their only source of information on the twelve steps came from the point of view of the alcoholic who was trying to stay sober. What the wives needed was understanding of the reactions to anothers disease and understanding of how it affected and still affects them whether the alcoholic is sober or not.

So, women began to meet in their homes and studied the twelve steps of AA together. These gatherings became known as family groups.

As time passed, it was not just wives of recovering alcoholics in these family groups. Parents, siblings, other relatives, and friends--male and female--of active and recovering alcoholics began to seek help in these groups because they too were affected by anothers disease.

In 1939 Alcoholics Anonymous-AAs Big Book-was published. In the book, a chapter is titled To Wives. The members of AA wanted their wives to address the men and women who were affected by anothers drinking. The chapter is devoted to offering understanding of the problem and offering suggestions to help aid in the recovery of the effects of alcoholism. Although the chapter is titled To Wives (at that time the majority of AA was men), it was meant for anyone-relative or friend, male or female-affected by the disease.

Many relatives and friends of alcoholics began writing to the Alcoholics Anonymous magazine The Grapevine. They were expressing their problems and experiences with alcoholism and were seeking guidance from the only available source of help at the time.

Then in 1950, a member of one family group in California began The San Francisco Family Club Chronicle. This newsletter connected the family groups with editorials, letters, and quotes from philosophers. By 1951, it was not limited to the United States. Family groups in Australia and South Africa were receiving it also. This chronicle would later become The Forum, Al-Anons monthly magazine.

Also in 1950, Bill suggested that Lois set up a central office for the family groups. It would allow the groups to register and be connected with the other family groups. Also, people seeking recovery would be able to have a list of groups in their area.

Lois was not interested in setting up the office at that time because she and Bill had purchased their first home, "Stepping Stones", and that was her priority.

Then in 1951, at the AA General Service Conference, Lois spoke with the wives of the AA delegates. She was convinced at that point to start the Al-Anon Clearing House, which would later become The World Service Office.

Lois and Anne B. worked together at Lois's home to contact the 87 groups that were registered with AA. They wanted to know if the family groups would be interested in joining together in a fellowship separate from AA. Forty-eight groups decided to join this new fellowship which they named Al-Anon.

They also decided to adopt the Twelve Steps of AA. However, one word was changed in the twelfth step. Instead of reading

we tried to carry this message to alcoholics

we tried to carry this message to others. . .

In changing this one word, the fellowship was showing its own purpose--that of finding sanity and serenity in their own lives.

As optimistic as Lois was, even she was amazed and elated to see Al-Anon grow so quickly. Today, 30,000 Al-Anon groups exist in 100 countries. When Lois looked back at starting the fellowship, she remembered it was easier to start than AA because Al-Anon followed in AAs footsteps. The groundwork was already in place. She also stated that one reason that AA and Al-Anon have been so successful is that members of our fellowship never talk down to a prospect. We tell how we, too, have been there in the same apparently hopeless mess. Our approach is one of mutual need, of identification. Al-Anon today continues to spread the message that there is no situation too hopeless and no difficulty too great to be lessened. By applying the twelve steps to our own lives, we too can find happiness and contentment.

Bridget M

The Central Al-Anon Family Groups is the oldest group in this district, and the third oldest group in the state of Virginia. In 1999, we celebrated our 45th anniversary!